Santa vs The Raakto Twins
by MadQuinn13
Summary: While away on a mission Nyssa and Sara ask Dinah to babysit their four year old twins not knowing that a certain man in a red suit is planning a visit.


Nysara babies battle the "Santa Claus" that turns out to be Ra's as Dinah babysits one winter's night.

So according to yahoo and 'native' speakers grandfather is Gido and Mother is Ommy.

Years had passed since the family dinner fight with Laurel. Now Radoslav Lance Ghazi Raakto and

Akeila Lori Intisaar Raakto were four years old and being babysat by their grandma Dinah while their mommies murdered people, well bad people. It was okay, that's what Grandpa Ra's said. It's okay to kill bad people. He encouraged it. Grandpa Quentin wasn't allowed to talk about it after mommy yelled at him.

So after they were tucked into bed Radoslav and Akeila decided that they just couldn't sleep. It was always hard when their mommies were out killing bad guys.

"Akeila are you awake?" Radoslav asked poking his twin in her in bed.

"Go away I'm trying to sleep. When Mommy comes home she'll be really mad if you're awake." The little girl swat at her brother's hand.

"I can't sleep. They're gone." He pouted his shaggy blonde hair in his eyes.

"They'll be back home. Go talk to Nanny I'm sleeping."

"Fine…didn't wanna talk to you anyways poopy head." He slunk out of the room when he heard a noise coming from downstairs. He raced back into the bedroom and shook his sister hard. "Akeila wake up! I heard something." This seemed to get the little girls attention because she sat up in bed.

"What?"

"I think someone's downstairs." Her face lit up.

"Let's go!" She stood up on her bed taking the rod from the blinds that opened and closed them.

"What are you doing?"

"It's like mommy's bo staff."

"Great idea!" Radoslav ran to his own room to get his own mini bo staff. They crept downstairs to see a large man in a red coat in the living room.

"I think that's Santa." Akeila whispered.

"Nah uh. Santa only comes at the end of the month, not in November." Radoslav answered. "I think it might be Knecht Ruprecht. He's Santa's brother that beats kids."

"So we show him you don't mess with the grandkids of the demon!" Akeila grinned climbing up in the railing so she could get a better shot at jumping right on him.

"Okay on three. You get him from the air. I'll get him from the ground."

"Got it."

"One."

"Two."

"Three!" They both charged at the man, Radoslav running down the stairs and hitting the man in his legs and stomach with the rod while his sister jumped off the railing and onto the man's shoulders hitting him in the face as she tried to hold on to him. After a crack and blood gushing out of the man's nose.

"What is going on!" Dinah yelled entering the room to see her only grandchildren currently whacking someone who looks like a bloody Santa Claus.

"I am feeling pride for my grandchildren." The man spoke.

"Gido!" The yelled recognizing the voice.

"What are you doing?" Dinah has long since gotten use to the fact that her daughter's father in law was insane and a murder and just plain weird and creepy.

"I wanted to surprise these two with an early visit from Santa but I think they thought I was a bad guy." He always spoke English whenever Sara's family was around out of respect.

"We thought you were Knechy Ruprecht." Radoslav explained.

"Doesn't Knechy Ruprecht only visit naughty children?" Dinah asked having taught about practically every legend of every known culture at some point.

"Oh yeah…" Akeila pondered. "Oops."

"Why don't I tuck you two back into bed?" Ra's smiled at the pair though his bloody face.

"Will you tell us a story too?" Akeila asked.

"Of course. Can't go to bed without a bedtime story."

"Why don't you two head upstairs now while I help clean Gido up?" Dinah was still creeped out how no one in his family seemed to notice they were injured if they were still conscious. She overheard stories Nyssa told Felicity about how unless Nyssa physically restrains her Sara will try and fight with every broken bone in her body, she even had to knock her out personally when Sara had a sword rammed through her chest that pierced her lung to stop her from trying to kick the person's ass who did it to her.

"Okay." The twins rushed back upstairs to their rooms. "Can we sleep in Moms bed?"

"Of course." Dinah knew that Nyssa and Sara were trying to keep the twins from forming the habit of sleeping in their bed but she was the grandmother so she was allowed to fuck with their rules. She trumped them. Ra's was already going to the bathroom he was still grinning.

"Look at this blood. This is blood my grandchildren spilled. Four years old and they are already so good. They used an ordinary household object as a weapon maybe it was only because of Sara and her bo staff that they thought any blunt stick is a bo staff. But nevertheless my grandchildren are four years old and when they thought a bad man was coming into their home their reaction was too attack him before he could attack them. They even spilt up with one going for my lower body and the other my upper." Dinah had to resist the urge to roll her eyes but instead she ran a cloth under water for him to clean up the blood.

"Anything I can do for you?"

He shook his head. "I can pop it back into place. Not my first. I'm sorry for interrupting your night with the twins. I thought a visit from Santa would be fun. I didn't judge for the time difference."

"You will have to explain this to Sara and Nyssa. I'm going to make sure the twins don't have blood on their pajamas." Sara would kill her for letting them stay in their bloody pajamas. They of course weren't changed out of their bloody clothes.

"Come on, you two know you can't stay in those dirty clothes." Dinah followed the twins as they changed into clean pajamas.

"Ommy goes to bed in bloody clothes sometimes." Radoslav was a bit of a smart ass. "They both do."

"There is a difference between being so exhausted after a mission to change, and not wanting to change because you're proud of how you managed to break your gido's nose." She had to fight to keep herself from smiling at how cute it was that they were so excited.

"But we want Ommy to be proud of us."

"Both your mommies will be proud of you without seeing you still sleeping in Gido's blood. Once you're cleaned up we can tell them all about how you attacked Gido."

"And won." Radoslav added.

"And won." Dinah smiled at him finally changing out of his bloody pjs.

"I wanna talk to Mommy." Akeila whined sitting on the floor still in her bloody pjs.

"I know you do sweetie but Mommy can't talk right now she's on a mission remember?" Dinah went through this every time she had to watch the twins.

"But its not fair! Why do they keep going together!"

"They go together because they know that if they fight together than everyone will get home safe and if they went on their own or without the other. It would just lead to worry and when worry is involved mistakes happen and when mistakes happen on missions people die. Our people die." Ra's now blood free was leaning on the door frame. "Akeila go change into clean pajamas or I won't buy you your very own sword for your birthday."

"I'm getting one right?" Radoslav asked.

"Of course." Dinah was staying out of the conversation because she wasn't sure if Sara and Nyssa would allow the five years old to have their own swords.

Akeila finally got up and shuffled past Ra's into her own room and changed into her Elsa pajamas.

"Story time now?"

"Story time now." He confirmed following them into the bedroom once he had them tucked in, both were in the middle of the bed but they dragged a pillow from each side over to lie on despite there being two middle pillows.

"What kind of story do you want to hear?" He asked sitting on the edge of the bed.

"One from one of your old missions."

"Alright, I'll tell you about the time I beheaded a rich playboy who raped women and left from for dead."

"No you are not telling them that one!" Dinah heard that story and it was not age appropriate.

"What's raped?" one of the twins asked only to be ignored.

"Fine. I can tell you the story of how Ommy and Mommy met."

"Yeah!"

"No. Ra's that is not your story to tell." Dinah wasn't sure how much of that story they wanted to children to know. Knowing Ra's it would start 'Mommy was really mad at Auntie Laurel and Uncle Ollie was a giant dick and kept asking Mommy to bang him. Now Uncle Ollie was dating Auntie Laurel and it was getting really serious now Uncle Ollie was a dick and didn't like where it was going so he convinced Mommy to go with him on a boat and screw like bunnies. Mommy changed her mind and said no except with Auntie Laurel called her a bitch so she slept with Uncle Ollie a bunch of times. The boat they were on sunk and Mommy almost died because she has no survival skills. This giant ship finds her floating in the middle of the ocean in just her underwear. This crazy scientist stops his men from passing her around like a two dollar whore and makes her help him torture men. Bunch of crazy shit happens that always happens whenever Mommy and Uncle Ollie and left alone, which your Ommy has to put a stop to because she was tired of having to save Mommy's butt all the time and Uncle Ollie bitching about how you don't need to keep killing people. You do kids. The best way to make sure someone can never hurt anyone else again is to kill them. Now Mommy and Uncle Ollie were on a boat again, this is also why they are never allowed on a boat together, they just keep sinking and everyone thinks Mommy dies again. She washed up on an island that had everything you needed to survive you just needed to build a fire first. Mommy didn't know how to build a fire. She was going to starve to death. That's when Ommy found her and save her butt for the first and definitely not the last time.

"Fine. I'll tell you how I met Ommy's Ommy." He started before looking up at Dinah for approval. "I was a lot younger than I am now." He winked. "I was on a mission in Russia." He told the story about how he was sent to kill this very evil man and on his way he met this beautiful woman.

"When did you get married?" Radoslav asked clearing thinking like most children that people get married and then have children.

"We didn't." He stated simply. "We shared one magical night and nineteen years later your mother found me." Dinah was ready to hit him but she knew she should let the girls handle it.

"Time to sleep now." He tucked them in making sure they were fully covered and comfortable. "Now when you wake up Mommy and Ommy will back after kill all the bad men that they encounter during their mission. Maybe they'll let you help them clean the blood off their weapons."

"Time to go Ra's." Dinah understood why he was never allowed to babysit on his own. She thought the last kind of people he should be left alone with were children. He would never hurt them but he forgets that you can't talk to children like you talk to adults.

"I'll see you tomorrow children. I love you both equally until one of you clearly out shines the other." He said truthfully. "Just like how Auntie Taila outshines Ommy."

Later that night which is also early the next morning Dinah is sipping a cup of tea when Nyssa opens the door carrying a bloody Sara in. She stands up but before she can say anything Nyssa has her hand up. She goes straight upstairs and into the bedroom. "See the twins are fast asleep in our bed. They're safe. Can I now stop the bleeding so you do not bleed out and die?" Nyssa had attempted to help Sara with the wounds since she killed the last of the attackers but Sara kept refusing wanting to make sure the twins were still safe. Sara nodded weakly one eye almost swollen completely shut.

Nyssa carried Sara back downstairs to the kitchen where Dinah was still standing, despite having seen something similar to this multiple times she would never not be in shock and panic at seeing the sight of her daughter badly beaten and bloody.

"What happened?" Dinah asked as Nyssa laid Sara on the table before she started to remove the clothes which were blocking her access to the wounds.

"It was a trap. They knew we were coming and how many of us there would be. They had traps and snipers and we weren't expecting it." Nyssa spoke in a calm voice as she grabbed the kit from under the sink and had started to pour the bottle of disinfectant over Sara's stomach. "How was everything tonight? Did the twins give you any trouble?"

"They were perfect little angles as always. Except for when your father decided to stop by for a surprise visit."

"What did he do this time?" Nyssa had sent him a text explain what happened during the flight back while she tried to keep Sara from passing out and dying on her.

"Dressed as Santa to surprise them."

"It's still weeks until Christmas."

"That's why they thought it was his German brother who beats children."

"Oh god what did they do?"

"They grabbed the rods from the blinds and used them as mini bo staffs." Dinah could tell that as out of it as Sara was she was grinning at this information.

"Great now I have to deal three people swinging around giant sticks." Nyssa always playfully joked about how useless a bo staff was a weapon.

"They broke his nose. Radoslav went for his legs and Akeila jumped off the rail and attacked her head."

"…He had his nose broken by a pair of four year olds?" Nyssa couldn't hide the grin at the picture of that.

"He was so proud of them. He also said he's buying them swords for their fifth birthday."

"I'm still working on that." Nyssa sighed she knew he meant well but they were trying to give their children normal safe childhoods. With the wound as clean as it was going to get Nyssa grabbed the needle and thread and started stitching the gaping hole in her wife's side. "They are not sleeping in bloody pajamas right?"

"Of course I wouldn't let that happen. But they refused to go to bed unless it was in yours."

"That's fine, I'll move them when I'm done here."

"What story did Ra's tell them?" Sara asked weakly knowing that her father in law always told them some wildly inapproiate story.

"He started to tell them about the time he beheaded a rapist billionaire, when I said he was not telling it, he went to change it to how you two met."

"We haven't decided how much of that story we're telling them."

"I know. That's why I told him to pick another one so he picked how he met your mother."

"He told my children about his one night stand?"

"Yes."

"It's not as bad as they have been in the past I suppose." Nyssa knew when to pick her battles. After finishing with the stitches on Sara's torso she moved to remove Sara's pants so she could get to the wounds on her legs. When she was bent over Sara, Dinah saw Nyssa's own back which had blood leaking out even past all her armor.

"Nyssa you're hurt as well."

"I'm not nearly as bad as Sara is. I'll be fine in a few days, just some shallow cuts." She always ignored her own injuries if Sara even had a small scrape.

A half hour later Nyssa had carried Sara up to bed and moved the twins to their own, only to make sure that in their sleep they didn't kick her as they usual did in their sleep.

"Thank you for watching the children for us." Nyssa had changed out of her bloody armor and into a loose shirt and sleep pants, her back was bandages with help from Dinah since Nyssa couldn't reach some spots and Sara was already out for the night from the mixture of exhaustion and blood loss.

"Any time you need me for anything you do not hesitate to ask understand?" Dinah asked using her mom voice on the assassin.

"I do. Are you sure you don't want to simply spend the night here?"

"Thank you for the offer but I don't want Richard to worry too much. Oh and for what it's worth Nyssa. You are my favorite out of all my daughters. I also know for a fact that out of all of Sara's relationships Quentin likes you the best as well." Dinah smiled at her before leaving and getting into her car to drive home leaving a stunned Nyssa in the doorway.


End file.
